Friday, 21 October 2011

Blogfest Contest

Below is my entry for Brenda Drake's 'Can you leave us breathless?' Blogfest. It is taken from the second chapter of my debut novel The Grim Reaper's Novice (The Soul Collector series) published by Trestle Press. I hope you enjoy reading it. Any feedback/comments/critique will be very welcome.Thank you for taking time to read this.

Excerpt

Test day. Ten minutes to eight.
Cloaked in a Concealment Spell, I lean against a lamppost opposite Vienna Opera, sipping coffee and nibbling on an apple pie.
Eight O’clock. I dispose of the empty cup, and wipe my mouth clean with a napkin. I scan the area for a pulsating soul ready for collection. I squint and crane my neck, bouncing on my heels. I clench and unclench my hands. The early morning August summer sun and throng of people scattered all over the place make things more difficult. Tourists  with maps and cameras are gathered at the corners waiting at the intersection, impatiently waiting for the light to change. I can’t see anyone in the right age range.
The light changes and the masses of people begin to make their way across the street. It’s obvious the soul I’m looking for is not here after all. Relieved that I would not have to take such a young soul I turn to leave. That’s when I see him, a young man stepping off the curb with headphones covering his ears, bobbing his head to the beat of the music. My heart jolts wildly in my chest.
Suddenly, tyres squealing on the tarmac road fill the air. I whirl to the direction of the sounds. Out of nowhere, I spot a car racing down the street heading straight for him, but he’s so lost in his music he doesn’t even see it. His aura shows no sign of soul collection.
I break into a sprint, which in my high heels is like walking on thorns. I’ve never been much of a runner, but I am determined to save this young man’s life.
Two feet, and the car will make contact. I shake my heels off in the running process.


28 comments:

  1. The idea of a "soul collector" is very interesting. Great job.

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  2. Curse those high heels! Nice transition from slow paced, ready to give up to heart pounding action. Great entry.

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  3. Interesting premise. Nicely done. :)

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  4. Hi Tammy,

    Thank you. Welcome to my blog.

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  5. Thanks, Kaleen. welcome to my blog

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  6. lol Yeah I know, right? welcome to my blog,Nicki and thank you for the comment.

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  7. Thanks L S. Good to see you here

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  8. Thanks L S. Nice to see you here.

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  9. Oh, what happens next, what happens next? Definitely breathless here! Sounds like my kind of story, too, I'd love to know more!

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  10. Thanks, Lissa. Good to see you here

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  11. Very nicely done! I absolutely love the line "...in my heels which is like walking on thorns." Brilliant line. I love the concept of this story and the way it starts. Good job!

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  12. Thanks Jen, and thanks for stopping by.

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  13. wow, didn't know you write so well..am hooked, count me a fan..

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  14. Hi Mohamed, thank you. And thank you for stopping by.

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  15. Great story piece! It makes me want to read more to see what happens next, nice job! :)

    New Follower!

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  16. Hi Amy, thank you. And thanks for following and for stopping by. I'm really glad you enjoyed the excerpt.

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  17. Oooh! How exciting! Love the idea of a soul collector.

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  18. Thanks, Kate. You are welcome to read the excerpt saved inside the 'Grim Reaper's Novice'page. Thanks for stopping by.

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  19. Interesting concept. At first I thought she was going to kill him. It was neat to see that quick change.

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  20. Darn ear phones are dangerous. Like the idea of a soul collector in high heels trying to save someone. =)

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  21. Thanks Jennifer, and thanks for stopping by

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  22. True E.,Thanks for stopping by

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  23. Ooh, I like this! I wonder if he gets saved.

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  24. Nice snippet with a clear and understandable premise. Well done. There is a repetitive word (waiting) somewhere. You might want to replace one with a different word.

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  25. Hey Nicole,thanks..aah does he get saved.. love the guessing game *urg* thanks for stopping by.

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  26. Hi Cat, Thanks. And thanks for picking out on that word 'waiting'. I didn't even catch that one! lol. I'll correct it on the writing project. Thanks for stopping by.

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  27. Thank you for participating in Can You Leave Us Breathless? Blogfest Contest. Your entry has been judged.

    Good luck!

    The Judges
    (Connie, Joannine, Marissa, and Brenda)

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